So Boop, here's the scoop...

[TimmyD]

O.K., I'm probably going to regret starting this thread..

The OL use to love riding the bike with me, like ever since we got married (going on 12 years). Well, ever since I 'allowed her to bear my offspring'* (we have a 3 y.o. girl, and a 7-month old son), she has only gone riding with me once, that was 2 years ago.

I've asked countless times for her to set a date, get a babysitter (we know plenty of people willing to watch the kids), and let's ride. She has yet to do anything.

So, there's this girl I know who's always telling me she wants me to give her a ride on the bike, and when will I take her for a day of riding.

My question:
---Should I be like a former President(s) (Kennedy, Clinton), and go for it?
---Should I be like a former President (Carter), go for it, and if it is discovered that I'm riding around with a woman other then the OL, claim it was caused by extra-terrestrials who abducted me, held me hostage and for the past xamount of weeks an alien took my place on earth?
---Should I be like a former President (Reagan), and state that I have no knowledge of nor remember the events in question?
---Should I _________???
---Should I _________??? (you fill in the blanks)
:blink:

* I used this term 'kiddingly'.

[Boop]

O.K., I'm probably going to regret starting this thread..

The OL use to love riding the bike with me, like ever since we got married (going on 12 years). Well, ever since I allowed her to bear my offspring (we have a 3 y.o. girl, and a 7-month old son), she has only gone riding with me once, that was 2 years ago.

I've asked countless times for her to set a date, get a babysitter (we know plenty of people willing to watch the kids), and let's ride. She has yet to do anything.

So, there's this girl I know who's always telling me she wants me to give her a ride on the bike, and when will I take her for a day of riding.

My question:
---Should I be like a former President(s) (Kennedy, Clinton), and go for it?
---Should I be like a former President (Carter), go for it, and if it is discovered that I'm riding around with a woman other then the OL, claim it was caused by extra-terrestrials who abducted me, held me hostage and for the past xamount of weeks an alien took my place on earth?
---Should I be like a former President (Reagan), and state that I have no knowledge of nor remember the events in question?
---Should I _________???
---Should I _________??? (you fill in the blanks)
:blink:


Timmy my dear, I have read enough of your posts on here to know that you are an intelligent, articulate guy. And you don't strike me as someone who is willing to play Russian Roulette with his testicles. So, my advice to you:

Emulating a president - any president - is an idiotic idea, even for a Doof.

Your wife has two demanding, exhausting people in her life who fully expect her to put their every need above her own. Don't make it three.

Flee from any strange woman who wants an all-day ride on your bike. I realize this may be a news flash to some of ya' but we girls can be every bit as evil, selfish and conniving as the worst man. We're not to be trusted.

Accept and love your wife for who she is. Understand that your way of relaxing and having fun is not necessarily hers. Know - this one's important - that this stage of your life will pass and some day she'll be more than eager to share that time with you.

I have always told people that motherhood is not a calling, it's not a privilege - it's an incurable disease. We are consumed with and by our children (sounds almost cannabalistic, doesn't it?) Trust me, they'll be teenagers before you know it and I guarantee she'll hop on that bike any time you suggest it - just to get away from them!

[8-Ball]

I agree with Boop.... almost completely.

I'll only add that sometimes women forget who their men married... and that is not good either.

Might I suggest buying for her, "The Care And Feeding Of Husbands," by Dr. Laura.

The answer always lies in the balance.

[Xkvator]

O.K., I'm probably going to regret starting this thread..


:coffee: ..........

[y2k king]

:popcorn:

[Woody218]

Hey Tim..."run, Forrest, run..." Do NOT go riding with this woman, no matter how much she begs you, or how much you think it would be fun.

(unless she's really hot and good lookin'...) :D

No, I'm bein' a smuckin' fartass again. Don't do it.

[TimmyD]

Boop,
Thank you for the sound advice, and a 'smack upside the head'.
I have always known what the 'right' choice has been, but have been debating the other options. Head trip about OLs (come on, ya gotta admit it), they say "Yes" but mean, "No," when the question is, "Honey, I'm going riding Saturday, probably be gone all day (as usually with riding), it that cool with you?" Sorry ladies, once you give approval (no matter in what tone), we guys get up and go.
I'll only add that sometimes women forget who their men married... and that is not good either.

I've got a better one, 8, sometimes women forget who they married. To put it bluntly, I've been riding bikes 20 years longer then I've been riding the OL. I've gotten rid of some "bad habits/things I should not have been doing" since we've been married-Riding is not a 'bad habit,' it is more of a sanity check from the rest of the world.
(unless she's really hot and good lookin'...) :D
Yep, and 20 years younger then me. I should know better considering she lives in my trailer park, right?

Guess I'll have to settle with riding solo, and getting 'doghoused' at home when I go riding all day. But hey, we ain't talking every weekend here, maybe every other weekend, one day of the weekend.
BTW-yes, the OL knows about DC forum, she just doesn't know the URL, and I want to keep it that way. Scary as it sounds, DC forum is a "sanity check" too.

[Fire46]

Timmy, I'm willing to help a brother out. Now if this 'other woman' truly is hot, I can be there on satruday and take her off your hands for awhile...just sayin.... :whistling:

[Stone Cold]

Flee from any strange woman who wants an all-day ride on your bike. I realize this may be a news flash to some of ya' but we girls can be every bit as evil, selfish and conniving as the worst man. We're not to be trusted.


Please say it ain't so.

Whatever hapened to "Sugar and Spice and everything nice"?? :huh:

[MegaGlide]

Please say it ain't so.

Whatever hapened to "Sugar and Spice and everything nice"?? :huh:
It's been replaced by exciting underwear.
I'm all for it.

[Jams]

The world isn't that big that you can hide things on the internet and not think they will be found.

I just googled your user name TimmyD and found you <here> (http://www.doofclenas.com/forums/showthread.php?p=58212)

[route66paul]

The question is, "Do you have lust in your heart?"

[Deejay]

The OL use to love riding the bike with me, like ever since we got married (going on 12 years). Well, ever since I allowed her to bear my offspring (we have a 3 y.o. girl, and a 7-month old son), she has only gone riding with me once, that was 2 years ago.


Believe it or not.... this is very common. I believe that it stems from an internal mother instinct to always be there for their children. My OL said that we will both never be on the bike together until our daughter moves out on her own. She has seen too many stupid cagers come close to taking out bikers, and she does not want us both taken out at the same time leaving our daughter to be raised by her godparents.

Funny though how it's OK for me to ride all the time..... as long as my three life insurance policies are still running...... :blink: :whistling: :roflback:

[TimmyD]

The world isn't that big that you can hide things on the internet and not think they will be found.

I just googled your user name TimmyD and found you <here> (http://www.doofclenas.com/forums/showthread.php?p=58212)
uhh...that's another part of this (DC) forum.
I just did a google search too. Either I am a 69 y.o. guy in Maryland, a 24 y.o. guy in Amsterdam, or a guy in Russia, or a guy in Sweden, lots of 'em out there.
I own a coffeehouse/eatery in Detroit called TimmyD's, too.
The question is, "Do you have lust in your heart?"
:hmm2: For another woman...not really, just tired of...let's just say somedays, it seems like I should have just stayed at work.
Plus, I've heard that lust is something that is sudden / out of the blue.
The old say I have heard is 'Lust has speed, but love has endurance."
Believe it or not.... this is very common. I believe that it stems from an internal mother instinct to always be there for their children. My OL said that we will both never be on the bike together until our daughter moves out on her own. She has seen too many stupid cagers come close to taking out bikers, and she does not want us both taken out at the same time leaving our daughter to be raised by her godparents.
Yep, she has hinted to this being the reason as well. I would hope she will reconsider because if she waits until my son moves out on his own, I'll be 61 y.o. - too much fun to be had between now and then.

Thanks for everyone's input.

[y2k king]

better hope she doesn't click on your pc history. if she sees this thread, you'll definitely be ridin alone....even in bed.:sofa:

[Fire46]

Ironically my ex never wanted to leave the kids with anyone so we could go away for a weekend or even a night. Now we have 50/50 custody so they are with me one week and her the next. Go figure, now she has 7 days at a time without them. Couples do need quality time together ESPECIALLY when they have kids.

[Jams]

You started a thread a few weeks back on the same subject and then asked for it to be deleted......

If you treat her the way you talk about her here, it is not to difficult to see that you have problems in your marriage.

jus saying :whistling:

[Boop]

Okay boys, play nice. It is my "area" after all.

Timmy, there is no way for any of us to know what is going on in your marriage or in your head. And I, for one, am not a professional advice-giver, although I play one here on the forum.

I do know from experience that if you value your marriage and your wife you have to work at it. And you have to work at it even if she isn't. Unfair? Yes. Difficult? Yes. But that's the way it works.

At least please think very carefully before making a decision that could irrevocably harm your wife and your marriage. And don't take our advice without realizing where it's coming from. This is Doof Land!!!

[Fire46]

At least please think very carefully before making a decision that could irrevocably harm your wife and your marriage. And don't take our advice without realizing where it's coming from. This is Doof Land!!!

I represent that remark... :roflback: :roflback:

[Stone Cold]

Okay boys, play nice. It is my "area" after all.

Timmy, there is no way for any of us to know what is going on in your marriage or in your head. And I, for one, am not a professional advice-giver, although I play one here on the forum.

I do know from experience that if you value your marriage and your wife you have to work at it. And you have to work at it even if she isn't. Unfair? Yes. Difficult? Yes. But that's the way it works.

At least please think very carefully before making a decision that could irrevocably harm your wife and your marriage. And don't take our advice without realizing where it's coming from. This is Doof Land!!!

Best advice given.


Just sayin'...

[Fire46]

Timmy, you need THIS (http://www.doofclenas.com/forums/showthread.php?t=3939)

[TimmyD]

better hope she doesn't click on your pc history. if she sees this thread, you'll definitely be ridin alone....even in bed.:sofa:

No issue there, I have my lap top & she has hers.
Since I use it for work too, and I got 'secret snake shite' on it,
I tell her that she can't use it because of company security policy.
Sometimes, I am :Smart:

Couples do need quality time together ESPECIALLY when they have kids.
Yep, wish she would realize that more. She got her AAS in Medical Billing & Coding back in Feb., and she was hell-bent to immediately go for her BS in Healthcare Management. She's been doing college all on-line. It took me 12 years, actually 8 years of attending college, but 12 years from start to finish to get my B.S. in CIS, She's on track to getting her B.S. by the end of next year for a total of 3.5 years of going to college.
I think one of the strains I feel is being the sole-income provider. It may have worked in "Leave It To Beaver" days, but its tough in the 21st century, especially in northern VA.

[TimmyD]

Okay boys, play nice. It is my "area" after all.

Timmy, there is no way for any of us to know what is going on in your marriage or in your head. And I, for one, am not a professional advice-giver, although I play one here on the forum.

I do know from experience that if you value your marriage and your wife you have to work at it. And you have to work at it even if she isn't. Unfair? Yes. Difficult? Yes. But that's the way it works.

At least please think very carefully before making a decision that could irrevocably harm your wife and your marriage. And don't take our advice without realizing where it's coming from. This is Doof Land!!!
I be getting better advice in DooFLand then from any shrink.
Plus it's not costing me $100/hour.

[Jams]

I be getting better advice in DooFLand then from any shrink.
Plus it's not costing me $100/hour.

Boop did you stay at a Holiday In Express ? :roflback: :roflback:

[Woody218]

Tim, how would you feel if you found out your wife was making plans to go riding with some 20 yr. old guy she knew, and not telling you about it? I'll bet you'd be hurt, angry and upset. Your wife would feel the same if you took some 20 yr. old woman out riding for a day, an hour, or around the block.

Never do anything to your wife that you wouldn't want her doing to you.

[Deejay]

Never do anything to your wife that you wouldn't want her doing to you.


This is true about 98% of the time.... the other 2% should not need to be explained. :whistling:

[y2k king]

if the marriage isn't working out.......end it. don't be runnin around even if ya think the divorce is in the near future. another woman will definitely mess up any judgment ya got left. i speak from experience.:nope:

[Boop]

I be getting better advice in DooFLand then from any shrink.
Plus it's not costing me $100/hour.

Obviously my bill hasn't arrived yet.

[TimmyD]

Wow, so many things to address.
What'cha said
All sound advice, some alittle brutal, but I had it coming when I started this thread, and I expected it too.
A little advice concerning "do unto others..etc" is always welcome also.

Ya every hear the line about 'sometimes your mind goes to places it should not go'. Well, that looks like where I have been lately.
I am sure I am not the only one of us who is having a rough patch. However, I am the only one stupid enough (or brave enough) to air it in a public forum. I guess we have found a truly taboo subject in DoofLand.

Regardless, riding is my only pressure release valve.
I do want to take this one girl for a ride on my bike...
...as soon as I buy a helmet, boots & leather, and check state laws concerning if I am allowed to have my (almost) 4 y.o. daughter on my bike. I also think they sell a harnesses too.

[Red Rider]

if the marriage isn't working out.......end it. don't be runnin around even if ya think the divorce is in the near future. another woman will definitely mess up any judgment ya got left. i speak from experience.:nope:

Agreed Y2 - been there too.

Timmy, if you love your wife - stick with her. Boop gave you some very sound advice and some real insight into a woman's perspective. If you hate your wife, which you don't, then get out. I did, but it was - and is painful, hurts the kids, and is very, very, very, very, expensive and emotionally time consuming. In a hateful relationship all the agony may be worth it, but otherwise you'll regret takin that path. No doubt we all have our temptations, but it ain't worth acting on them it if you value your marriage and your kids.

I've felt your pain man.

[dynageno]

Sound advice!

[d j]

No girl friend no wife......sweet! No hassels,no extra weight on the scoot,no lets do this lets do that......just me and my bike....SEE YA I'll call whenever I get to where ever it is I'm goin'.

Just sayin'.dj

[TimmyD]

No girl friend no wife......sweet! No hassels,no extra weight on the scoot,no lets do this lets do that......just me and my bike....SEE YA I'll call whenever I get to where ever it is I'm goin'.

Just sayin'.dj
...uhh...yeah...
dj...one of the 'penalties'...
....after the ex's lawyer gets done with ya...
...this is the 'scoot' you will be ridin'...
http://i176.photobucket.com/albums/w169/TimmyD_album/buddy_pink-pt.jpg?t=1179514448
...i've heard stories...

[MegaGlide]

No girl friend no wife......

And probably forearms like Popeye.
Just sayin'.

[d j]

Hey,ya got me there.It's easy for a guy married 27 years to talk smack like that.
Seriously I hope all works out.dj

[adlerX]

DUDE!! Count your blessings that the OL doesn't want to go riding and lets you ride anytime you wish! I would love that!! That passenger pillion is hers, I believe you have a contract that says so (marrige license) If this other woman wants a ride, tell her all she has to do is get the wifes permission. Then you'll have the green light for whatever happens next. Short of that, get a bloww jobb from the lovely lady in the supply closet and put a solo seat on the bike and fogettaboutit!
If you were gazinta of course, you wouldn't have to have asked the question...

Motto of the Gazintas,
I'LL DECIDE!!

[TimmyD]

I wouldn't say I ride anytime I wish. It usually involves alot of work both outside & inside the house. I did a short ride today, just to the stealership to get a new rear tire. I was slowing cruising down the street on the way home when Ms.X (real name not needs) flagged me down. Asked where I'm going, where I've been and when am I going to give her a ride. I told her she's gonna have to buy he own bike iffin' she wants to ride becuase her riding on mine with me would not look right , nor be right. She was upset, but such is life. I hate to stereotype, but living in a trailer park which averages 1 to 3 police visits/week, makes one see the quality of people who live here. I've lived here for almost 4 years, and I think I am eligible for the award of never having cops visit my place in that time.
As for marriage, I have always believed the there are three 'C' to it: Compromise, Communication, and Commitment. I'm sure Pastor Pat would put another 'C' in there:Christ. I 'laid my cards on the table' talking to her over the last few days, explaining my frustrations. She has told me her concerns. We're workin' on it.

[MegaGlide]

I'm proud of ya', man.
This book saved my marriage.
I highly recommend it:
http://www.amazon.com/Way-Womans-Heart-Successful-Marriage/dp/1576735710/ref=ed_oe_p/105-1872840-0940441

[d j]

Awsome TimmyD.Sounds like things are goin' in the right direction.dj