Not-So-Happy-But_Not_Sad
 

Thanks in advance for all the birthday wishes.

As a few of you know it was four weeks ago today that I discovered that my wife has been carrying on an affair since Dec. '19.
We have been legally separated since then and now have to go through the year-long waiting period mandated by Virginia law before filing for a divorce. I am doing my best to avoid lawyers since neither one of us can afford it.

Is my birthday still happy? Sure. I just have a new normal I am getting use to living.

Am I angry? Not really. More disappointed. She gave no indications she was unhappy in our marriage-I was blindsided when I discovered it.

How are the kids? Doing great. They are old enough to know what's going on. With them being home all day because of school being cancelled and me being home working (dining room is my new office), we are not getting on each others nerves.

If you comment on things Lexie posts on FB, I ask you to please be polite. Life happens and life going on.

Sorry to hear Timmy. It will all work out for you.

Way sorry to hear about your troubles. Stay strong Timmy.

All the best, as your life moves forward in a new direction.

May very good things be in store for you.

Timmy;

Always keep the lawyer option open. You never know when the circumstances will be twisted around, and you find yourself wishing you consulted one earlier. :Poke:

Still hard to believe that your daughter is 16 now. Glad the scouting is behind you and hopefully we'll see more of you here, and on the bike occasionally. You do remember how to start it, right? :whistling:

Sigh.


Stay well.

Yeah, I know, but most want a $3000 - $5000 retainer.

Timmy, there are a lot of platitudes available for use at a time like this. I'll do my best to avoid them and simply say, you've got a lot of friends here. Whatever support we can provide, you know it's yours for the asking.

Things get much better when you find the right one. You will.

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Thanks Scabby - especially for making me have to look up the meaning of 'Platitude'

...I thought it has something to do with platypuses.

Sorry you have to go through this Timmy.

If I may offer some unsolicited advice from experience: As Mike said, keep the lawyer option open, and seriously consider it to protect yourself. $3K is nothing compared to what you can lose. Most lawyers accept credit cards and refund any unused retainer. Also no matter how well you think you're getting along, and how well you think you know each other, do not trust her to do the right thing. Remember her life is being turned upside down, just like yours. That can affect people in unexpected ways.





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Timmy, I will add to this only to point out what can happen even when the parting may be amicable.

My brother and his wife decided to split. They worked out in advance how they would split property. The situation with the kids, I mean everything down to the silverware. You cant divorce in VA without a lawyer....I think that’s still the case....and when their lawyers got involved the lawyers wanted to blow the whole agreement up. It took my brother and his ex sitting down with the lawyers in a room to tell them how it was going to go down.

I know this sucks and my thoughts are with you.

Sorry to hear this. Be well.

Sorry you are going through this Timmy, it will get better eventually.

Mike