[Margarita]

The Queen of England was being shown around an Edinburg hospital by the head doctor. At one point, she is escorted into a ward with a number of patients who show no obvious signs of injury. She goes up to a man sitting alone in a chair and inquires after his health. To her surprise, the man answers,

O my Luve's like a red, red rose,
That's newly sprung in June:
O my Luve's like the melodie,
That's sweetly play'd in tune.

The queen blinks a couple of times and tells the man she hopes he'll feel well soon. She shakes off the experience and approaches an older woman who is looking out a window. She mentions the lovely day to the patient who immediately says,

Ye banks and braes o' bonie Doon,
How can ye bloom sae fresh and fair?
How can ye chant, ye little birds,
And I sae weary fu' o' care!

"Um, quite," murmurs the queen and walks to the end of the hall where a good-looking young man is standing next to the exit door. She says, "And you, sir, how are you today?" The young man strikes a pose and immediately declaims,

Scots, wha hae wi' Wallace bled,
Scots, wham Bruce has aften led,
Welcome to your gory bed,
Or to Victorie!

"Ah, yes," says the queen politely, "Do have a good day."

As she walked through the ward doors, she murmured to the doctor, "That was the psychiatric ward, was it?"

"No, ma'am," he answered, "That was the Burns Unit."

In honor of Robert Burns, born on this day in 1759.