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Our origins and history..Doof Anthology --- Rocker, Rite, & Order Requirements --- Doofinitions "Doof History." Herein is a synopsis of how we began, who we are, what we do and some of our practices, rites and traditions..not recommended for the faint of heart.

 
 
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Old 10-23-2007, 06:49 PM
The Doof Clenas
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Doof Anthology
Anthology is a fancy word 8-Ball taught Gray.


Doof Clena (Clēna)

On 5/15/2006, A member over at VTF made the following statement in a thread about creating a map while dyno-tuning a bike, “really they all work hand in hand. You need a doof clena fuel curve first then go to timing and once done in timing re check afr as it will change with timing adjustments.” He meant to say, “..a good clean fuel curve..”

This statement caused MegaGlide to lovingly and humorously, press him on the meaning of DC. The jokes began to fly over the apparent, “Typo.” Before long, the conversation turned to us being the Doof Clenas MC and evolved into an imaginary club with officers, patches and an imaginary clubhouse. The Doofs also had an imaginary nemesis...the gAZINTAs! By June, VTF had given us our own sub forum buried deep within the International forum. “43” became the number for the Doofs. The letter “D” being the fourth letter of the alphabet and the letter “C” being the the third. The Doof patch was developed and many members began to use the references in their avatars and signatures on the site.

Then a National Meet was put together in Kansas City, KS for Labor Day weekend. A hotel was secured and reservations made by numerous members. We instructed the registrants to tell the hotel that they’re a Doof when they called. Most didn’t believe it was real..but it was real. So real that it was attended by MegaGlide, Rock, 8-Ball and wife Mary, GrayRider, 475Wildey, Luke611 and wife Carl611, Polarbear, DynaGeno and wife Veneesa, dwarthog and Stu and Fireberry and wife Gail and Homesick. Kenney met the Eastern contingency enroute in St. Louis and rode them through that area. It was the birth of the Doofapalooza, a name coined by Big Al. Annual Doofapaloozas are held each year, ...which is why we call them annual. Mini-Doofapaloozas happen frequently at local and regional levels. (Pictures)

The KC trip solidified the Doof Clenas. Friendships were made..history was made and several Doof practices and traditions were born, such as the Doof Loop, the Doof Wave, the 43 hand sign, Spam dinners, Knob Creek Bourbon, the Cat Herder designation, the search for a 43 Highway sign and others. More on this later.

From the beginning, some VTF members complained about all the “Doof” threads that appeared when they clicked on “New Posts.” The management eventually accommodated them by eliminating the Doof subforum from “New Posts.” With the controversy raising it’s ugly head periodically, and the Doof officers seeing the handwriting on the wall, MegaGlide, 8-Ball and GrayRider decided to have a Doof forum ready and secretly waiting in the wings.. if ever the eventuality of the Doofs being banished might occur. The plan was to stay at VTF for as long as they’d have us. None of us wanted the expense or work of our own forum, but the Doofs were now real..and must be sustained at all costs!

Soon, some complained about the Doof avatars and sigs..they complained every time a Doof made a comment in an upstairs thread that the poster was, “Doofing it up.” The complaints were enough that the management posted a stern warning that any “Doofing up” of threads in the other forums would not be tolerated and that banning members and even banishment of the Doofs altogether, could be expected....it was time. Of course, we hadn't actually done anything toward launching our own forum other than securing the domain name and a server. Once the decision was made, 8-Ball, over the course of a weekend, acquired the software, figured out the coding, and created the Doof Forum. Megaglide and GrayRider called often with such encouragement as, "Hurry up dumbass." On February 4, 2007..the Doof Forum was launched.

One very real nemesis of the Doofs was a retired member of a 1%er club. He believed that we were a mockery to motorcycle clubs. After numerous attempts to reason with him, the Doofs appealed to the officers of his club, based on the fact that the Doofs are an actual AMA chartered social club (Charter 02657). The problem was resolved on that level.

gAZINTAs



The 'zINTs are the arch enemies of the Doofs. (We’re actually friends) Every gAZINTa is president and they erroneously believe that every Doof is their prospect. They are evil.. tequila and rum swigging pirates that spend their time plotting against the Doofs. Their roots and name are founded in the academic philosophy of Jethro Bodine. Jethro said that he knew his gazintas..”2 gazinta 4..4 gazinta 8”..etc. A Doof should never capitalize the "g" when spelling their name.

They were first mentioned by Evil Twin in a VTF thread about clubs. He said that he must be a gazinta. The first to take on the name and oppose the Doofs with it was meanbean. When the Doofs emerged on VTF, he decided that in order for the Doofs to truly exist as a club, they would need an antagonist group...the gAZINTAs! Secretly, meanbean secured the rights to the domain names, “doofclenas.com".."doofclenas43.com"..and others. His evil plan was to show the Doofs that they were so mentally deficient and so extremely doofy that their domain names could be stolen right from under their noses. Then, of course.. the names could be sold back to them..high extortion! Nefarious!..Insidious! Of course, all this was in fun and meanbean signed the domains over to the Collective when we hit a little bump in the road and needed a place to park the forum.

Soon the ranks of the zints began to grow with captainlee, RoadGlider and others joining the fray.
They use the number "7" for the seventh letter of the alphabet.

This synopsis is from their own.


Doof Babes




LadyGodiva was the first Doof Babe. Doof Babes administer the imaginary initiation of corks and bandaids. You will see references to corks and bandaids on the site. Sounds unpleasant.

Delinquents and Double D's



VTF had already spawned a group of riders from the Washington DC area called the Northern Virginia Delinquents. When some of their number began to also join the ranks of the Doofs, they were named the Double D's.

Doof Membership

In order to become a member of the Doof Clenas, the interested party must state his intentions to prospect in the proper thread on the forum. When a member steps up to sponsor him, he is considered a “Prospect.” To become a full member, the prospect must ride to a highway 43 sign and take a picture of the sign and his motorcycle. After the pictures are posted in the proper thread, an officer will call for a vote in the Clubhouse forum. Once the prospect receives a minimum of seven votes, he is elevated to full membership and added to the roster.

The 43 Road Sign


Luke611 and Polarbear took pictures of themselves and their bikes at a Kansas Route 43 sign during the first Doofapalooza in KC. The practice then became the standard for a prospect to receive full membership.

The 43 Hand Sign



The 43 hand sign was created by dynageno and first used in KC. It has been rumored, that Geno was once an Enforcer for the notorious "Los Mariachi's y los Chicos Golpean." A rumor that he vehemently denies.


The Order of the Wrench



GrayRider rode over to his son Diesel’s house one Saturday to retrieve his 24” pipe wrench for a home repair job. Once there, he realized that there might not be room for it on his Road King. Being pleasantly surprised, he found that the wrench fit perfectly in his saddlebags. Once back on the forum, he posted a thread on the matter.

While in KC at the original Doofapalooza, Luke611 asked Gray, “Did you bring the wrench?” He hadn't..8-Ball said that he’d like to see the wrench. Upon Gray’s return home, he mailed the wrench to 8-Ball along with secret instructions concerning treatment of the wrench and proper wrench protocol.

The wrench is a dirty, 35 year old pipe wrench that is mailed to whoever the current recipient deems deserving. Bribes and nepotism is encouraged.

The wrench was removed from the service of this forum in December 2008.

The Rite of Marx



During a family Christmas party, GrayRider was disappointed that he didn’t get the Groucho glasses in a gift game. His grandson got them and could not be persuaded to relinquish them. Having gone to the party separately from his wife, the Appalachian Princess, he went home somewhat saddened. Later, the AP walked in the house with the glasses. She understood how much they meant to Gray and had successfully traded the grandson out of them. Gray then proceeded to humiliate himself in public with the glasses.

In order to receive this rite, a Doof must wear Groucho glasses in public and secure a picture of the humiliation. Although not necessary, getting a waitress, clerks and other bystanders to pose with glasses for an extra picture is encouraged.


Onion Sack Society



When a Doof/gAZINTa reaches 4,343 posts they may add to their signature the coveted Onion Sack. When they reach 8,343 they will be considered a Double Bagger and at 12,343 a Triple Bagger.

Why? Because the Doofs reward verbosity. CHAINSAW posted on VTF that someone, "..has enough hot air to blow up an onion sack."

When one reaches 20,043 posts, they are simply a mill spinning endlessly in the wind.

Spam



Spam is the Doofishul meat of the Doofs. One evening during the KC Doofapalooza, the Doofs were drinking around the hotel pool. Rock and GrayRider decided to walk next door to the adjacent Applebee’s for supper. While Rock and Gray feasted on a meal of tilapia and hot coffee, 8-Ball, still at the pool, called Gray requesting that he bring them back a whole turkey. Gray, understanding that turkey was most assuredely not available at that late hour and that the blitzed Doofs at the pool would probably eat anything... walked with Rock to a nearby Shell gas station and mini-mart. They purchased loaves of bread, mustard and cans of Spam.

Upon their return, Gray opened and sliced the Spam with a dirty pocket knife on a concrete poolside table covered with bird droppings. After making sandwiches with unwashed hands, he distributed them to the hungry Doofs who devoured each and every Spam sandwich made.

This same practice is observed at Doof gatherings everywhere.

Knob Creek Bourbon



Knob Creek is the Doofishul bourbon of the Doofs. Another tradition originating at the KC Doofapalooza.

As the sun was setting on Saturday night, it was determined that a run must be made to the liquor store to procure adult beverages for the anticipated poolside party. 8-Ball indicated that Mary wanted Knob Creek. 8-Ball bought a half gallon bottle which, to his dismay did not fit in his puny RK Custom saddle bag. Luckily, Rock had ridden with him and offered the use of his tourpak. Of course, there was plenty for everyone and the tradition was born. Knob Creek is available at every Doofapalooza.

Lays Chips



The potato chip choice of Doofs. Another tradition derived from the KC experience. Gail, Mary, and Venessa made a beer run in Fireberry's truck. Fireberry had made the mistake of leaving his unopened bag of Lays behind the seat. The famished Doof Babes found and feasted upon the bag. Upon their return, Mary stole the bag and brought it to the hotel pool. It wasn't long before the hungry Doofs discovered and consumed the rest of the bag. He never let us forget it.

The Waffle House



The Waffle House is the Doofishul Doof restaurant. The first breakfast together for the Doofs, at the KC Doofapalooza, took place at a Waffle House. After riding many miles to find it, the first Doof Loop was executed to reach the restaurant off the freeway.

It turned out that the Doofs were not the only interesting people at the place. An odd assortment of characters had assembled there for breakfast. A Waffle House is always a good choice for a meal that will be accompanied by eclectic, and gastric, memories lasting a lifetime.

Cat Herding



Shortly after MegaGlide was appointed President for life, he realized how difficult it was to keep so many Doofs on track. This realization prompted him to comment, “It’s like herding cats.” As the group began to ride together, it became apparent how true his comment was. The leader of the group is called the “Cat Herder” and is given the ceremonial "Catnip Mouse." The Cat Herder is referred to as the one who “has the mouse.” This phrase was coined by polarbear as we were escaping Leavenworth Prison in Kansas. (A story in itself) He found himself in the lead and quipped, “I guess I’ve got the mouse.” Once one has led one or more Doofs on a ride, he becomes qualified for the coveted Cat Herder Patch.


The Doof Loop


While riding the back roads of Kansas during the KC meeting, it became apparent that each cat herder lacked the navigation skills to get the group from point A to point B without making several U turns and switchbacks. During one such excursion, it's possible that the group went in 7 different directions after leaving a bar and grill. Polarbear and dwarthog exhibited extraordinary ability in leading us in numerous circles. They're naturals.

Doof Loops just naturally happen, and cannot be staged. Scabbydoo attempted to stage a Doof Loop while leading the group during Vukfest ‘07. The attempt became a real and bona fide Doof Loop when he inadvertently tried to lead us out of the staged loop, only to find himself leading us into a very real one...we were proud.

The Doof Wave

While riding to Florida GrayRider noticed that many of the FL bikers didn't return his wave. Becoming anxious for reciprocating affection, Gray began to wave wildly at each and every biker he encountered. They didn't always wave back, but the reactions were priceless. The wave is infectious and was adopted by all the Doofs in KC. Can't really explain the mechanics of the wave... it must be seen to be fully comprehended and appreciated.

The Doof Hat


This hat belongs to our president, MegaGlide. It’s ugly, funny looking and frankly, a little feminine. The President carries the Doof Hat with him whenever he meets with a member or members. Each member hopes that he will be granted permission to wear the hat for a picture. This privilege is given at the whim of the President to whomever he will. Fortunately, he is open to bribes and responds to feigned and phony praises and compliments. We affectionately call him the Big Doof.

Chickie



After instituting the Rite of Marx,..Q-Dog said, "The only thing as funny as Groucho glasses is a rubber chicken." Gray agreed, and Q-Dog mailed him a rubber chicken called..Chickie. Although there is no Rite, Doofs like to take a rubber chicken with them on rides and runs. The bagger riding Doofs prefer to put Chickie in their saddlebags with his/her feet hanging out the back. And as Rock has so aptly demonstrated, Chickie rides perfectly in a false pipe.

The Ceremonial Chaps



No one really knows what they're made from. Goat, sheep, shag carpet from a VW van, or even if they're actually a living organism. Scabbydoo owns them, and if you ever get out his way, you might have the honor of Scabby putting the chaps on you personally. Odd that he likes doing that, really.

Just Sayin'

An annoying catch phrase used by Doofs. The term was stolen by GrayRider from Brian Kilmeade of the "Fox and Friends" television program. After Gray used it a few times, the Doofs picked up on it and ran it into the ground. It was adopted, by an unsanctioned vote, as the Doofishul saying of the Doofs. Rumors still persist of a rigged vote... just sayin'.
 
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