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Where to retire
You can retire to Arizona where...
1. You are willing to park three blocks away from your house because you found shade. 2. You've experienced condensation on your rear-end from the hot water in the toilet bowl. 3. You can drive for four hours in one direction and never leave town. 4. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food. 5. You know that "dry heat" is comparable to what hits you in the face when you open your oven door at 500 degrees. 6. The four seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? -OR- You can retire to California where... 1. You make over $450,000 and you still can't afford to buy a house. 2. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway. 3. You know how to eat an artichoke. 4 When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is. 5. The four seasons are: Fire, Flood, Mud and Drought. -OR- You can retire to New York City where... 1 You say "the city" and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan. 2. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin on a map. 3. You think Central Park is "nature." 4. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multilingual. 5. You've worn out a car horn. (IF you have a car.) 6. You think eye contact is an act of aggression. -OR- You can retire to Minnesota where... 1. You only have three spices: salt, pepper and ketchup. 2. Halloween costumes have to fit over parkas. 3. You have seventeen recipes for casserole. 4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons. 5. The four seasons are: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road repair. -OR- You can retire to The Deep South where... 1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store. 2 "Y'all" is singular and "all y'all" is plural. 3. "He needed killin " is a valid defense. 4. Everyone has two first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Joe Bob, Betty Jean, Mary Beth, etc. 5. Everything is either: "in yonder," "over yonder" or "out yonder. " 6. You can say anything about anyone, as long as you say "Bless his heart" at the end! -OR- You can move to Colorado where... 1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car. 2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home, so he stops at the day care center. 3. A pass does not involve a football or dating. 4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail. -OR- You can retire to Nebraska or Kansas where... 1. You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name. 2. Your idea of a traffic jam is three cars waiting to pass a tractor. 3. You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day. 4. You end every sentence with a preposition; "Where's my coat at?" -OR- FINALLY you can retire to Florida where... 1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon. 2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind - even houses and cars. 3. Everyone can recommend an excellent cardiologist, dermatologist, proctologist, podiatrist, or orthopedist. 4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state. 5. Cars in front of you often appear to be driven by headless people.
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Master of Contemplation |
#2
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Nope......
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Patti |
#3
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Quote:
As far as Kansas, guilty of all counts. Sent from my Galaxy Note 8 using Tapatalk
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#4
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April 13, 2016 -- The day Richard was speechless. May your hands always be busy, May your feet always be swift. May you have a strong foundation When the winds of changes shift. May your heart always be joyful, and may your song always be sung, May you stay forever young! --Bob Dylan |
#5
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WY or MT for me...
If I'm ever single, the list grows.
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Hi I'm Tom. Darned if I can remember anyone else's name. MDCGA The Road Goes On Forever... To Ride is Life... In search of the Doof 43. . . . ....... . . Colorado Motel Wreckers 2012 ... Midnight Riders of The Beartooth 2013... |
#6
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The BH and I refuse to move to FL.
Ain't nothin there but old people.
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Tom "Age is a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it don't matter."...Satchel Paige "Mother Nature may dictate I grow older but there ain't nothin' nor nobody can make me grow up." ..Me |
#7
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Who were in kindergarten when you graduated from high school.
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2012 Ultra Limited Loud Radios Save Lives Curt |
#8
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Oh snap...
Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G891A using Tapatalk
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Hi I'm Tom. Darned if I can remember anyone else's name. MDCGA The Road Goes On Forever... To Ride is Life... In search of the Doof 43. . . . ....... . . Colorado Motel Wreckers 2012 ... Midnight Riders of The Beartooth 2013... |
#9
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Tom, I found you a retirement home out near Wisdom. Not quite as classy as the place I found for Dirk in Texas, but it'll keep the rain out... maybe... in places... on a sunny day...
Wisdom.jpg
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Preserve the planet: repeal the Second Law of Thermodynamics. |
#10
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….and the horse you rode in on. damn young'uns are all alike.
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Tom "Age is a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it don't matter."...Satchel Paige "Mother Nature may dictate I grow older but there ain't nothin' nor nobody can make me grow up." ..Me |
#11
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Fixed it for ya. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
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gaZinTa OF THE YEAR 2007 gaZinTa OF THE YEAR 2015 |
#12
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and for you as well...
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Tom "Age is a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it don't matter."...Satchel Paige "Mother Nature may dictate I grow older but there ain't nothin' nor nobody can make me grow up." ..Me |
#13
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The horse likes you
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
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gaZinTa OF THE YEAR 2007 gaZinTa OF THE YEAR 2015 |
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