Mermaid or Whale?

[Lady Godiva]

Originally Posted by ms_tapestry

I needed this today so I thought I'd share with the ladies.

Recently, in large French city, a poster featuring a young, thin and tan woman appeared in the window of a gym. It said: ¨THIS SUMMER DO YOU WANT TO BE A MERMAID OR A WHALE?¨ A middle aged woman, whose physical characteristics did not match those of the woman on the poster, responded publicly to the question posed by the gym.

To Whom It May Concern:

Whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, sea lions, curious humans).. They have an active sex life, they get pregnant and have adorable baby whales. They have a wonderful time with dolphins stuffing themselves with shrimp. They play and swim in the seas, seeing wonderful places like Patagonia, the Bering Sea and the coral reefs of Polynesia. Whales are wonderful singers and have even recorded CDs. They are incredible creatures and virtually have no predators other than humans. They are loved, protected and admired by almost everyone in the world.

Mermaids don't exist. If they did exist, they would be lining up outside the offices of Argentinean psychoanalysts due to identity crisis. Fish or human? They don't have a sex life because they kill men who get close to them. Therefore they don't have kids either. Not to mention who wants to get close to a girl who smells like a fish store?

The choice is perfectly clear to me; I want to be a whale.

P.S. We are in an age when media puts into our heads the idea that only skinny people are beautiful, but I prefer to enjoy an ice cream with my kids, a good dinner with a man who makes me shiver and a piece of chocolate with my friends. With time we gain weight because we accumulate so much information and wisdom in our heads that when there is no more room it distributes out to the rest of our bodies. So we aren't heavy, we are enormously cultured, educated and happy. Beginning today, when I look at my butt in the mirror I will think, ¨Good gosh, look how smart I am...¨

OH MY GOSH I LOVE IT!!!!

[Margaritaville]

Excellent! I will think about that when I am sweating on the treadmill later.

[K ren]

This is great! Now I don't even feel bad about the three cookies I scarfed while reading it.

[ms_tapestry]

Originally Posted by K ren

This is great! Now I don't even feel bad about the three cookies I scarfed while reading it.

I had four ginger snaps with my lunch. They were devine!

[Dinero]

I guess I am lucky, although I wasn't so sure this afternoon. Two of the smartest women in the world came into the shop right after lunch. They didn't sound all that smart, but who am I to argue?

[orbit]

Originally Posted by y2kflhr

.....is there such a thing as a merman.....

Yeah, her name was Ethel.

[Mnhorsemom]

Thanks Tonya. If I knew I was that smart I would have gone for my Doctorate in something

[ms_tapestry]

Originally Posted by Dinero No Mas

I guess I am lucky, although I wasn't so sure this afternoon. Two of the smartest women in the world came into the shop right after lunch. They didn't sound all that smart, but who am I to argue?

hehehehe. . .

Originally Posted by Mnhorsemom

Thanks Tonya. If I knew I was that smart I would have gone for my Doctorate in something

I'm still working on my associates. . .

[y2kflhr]

Originally Posted by orbit

Yeah, her name was Ethel.

[MiniGlide]

Originally Posted by ms_tapestry

With time we gain weight because we accumulate so much information and wisdom in our heads that when there is no more room it distributes out to the rest of our bodies. So we aren't heavy, we are enormously cultured, educated and happy. Beginning today, when I look at my butt in the mirror I will think, ¨Good gosh, look how smart I am...¨

...then shouldn't I be better at Geometry?

[ms_tapestry]

Originally Posted by MiniGlide

...then shouldn't I be better at Geometry?

[BigTOE]

Ahhhh yes, the mermaid... not enough women to love, too much fish to eat.

[Margarita]

Sperm. . .

I'm not even gonna ask what sperm whales eat, Tonya.

(I cannot believe the things I write on this forum. Y'all are bad influences on me.)

I guess I'll have to be a killer whale since I work with sharks...

[ms_tapestry]

Originally Posted by Margarita

I'm not even gonna ask what sperm whales eat, Tonya.

(I cannot believe the things I write on this forum. Y'all are bad influences on me.)

I guess I'll have to be a killer whale since I work with sharks...

I am proud to be a bad influence on ya!

[swmnkdinthervr]

Damn...who's a thunk it...my first wife turned into a genius in front my very eyes!!!