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- FLIGHT HUMOR -
The difference between a duck and a co-pilot?
The duck can fly. A check ride ought to be like a skirt. Short enough to be interesting, but long enough to cover everything. Speed is life. Altitude is life insurance. It only takes two things to fly: Airspeed, and money. The three most dangerous things in aviation: 1. A Doctor or Dentist in a Cessna. 2. Two captains in a DC-9. Aircraft Identification: If it's ugly, it's British. If it's weird, it's French. If it's ugly and weird, it's Russian. Without ammunition, the USAF would be just another very expensive flying club. The similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots? If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies. If ATC screws up, the pilot dies. The difference between flight attendants and jet engines: The engines usually quit whining when they get to the gate. New FAA motto: 'We're not happy, till you're not happy.' If Air Traffic Control screws up, it's called a 'System Malfunction', If a pilot screws up it's called a 'violation'. If something hasn't broken on your helicopter -- it's about to. I give that landing a 9 . . on the Richter scale. Basic Flying Rules: 1. Try to stay in the middle of the air. 2. Do not go near the edges of it. 3. The edges of the air can be recognized by the appearance of ground, buildings, sea, trees and interstellar space. It is much more difficult to fly in the edges. Unknown landing signal officer (LSO) to carrier pilot after his 6th unsuccessful landing attempt: 'You've got to land here son. This is where the food is.'
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~Karl~ ~"IF YOU CAN'T IMPROVE ON SILENCE, KEEP QUIET" ...couch Lou~ "Getting There Beats Being There" FLHTi * 95" by Carl from Boise Cycle CHECK OUT MY WEBSHOT ALBUMS... |
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. . Meng TKWSV |
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Like a Boss. [img][/img] Stinky pinky gulp and guzzle big rig snooze and stop. "History does not long entrust the care of freedom to the weak or the timid" - Gen Eisenhower.
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The similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots?
If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies. If ATC screws up, the pilot dies. If Air Traffic Control screws up, it's called a 'System Malfunction', If a pilot screws up it's called a 'violation' Just remember ATC tell Pilots where to go.
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Chris RIP MONGOOSE 2002 RK Police 95 Big Bore Kit, Weisco Flat Top Pistons, 9.13:1 Engine built by Wilsons of E-town,KY Vance and Hines Ovals SE Air Cleaner, K&N Filter 2006 HD Stock Heads Andrews 26G Cams Dyno'd by ENGINES BY OTTO 851st ARMY SECURITY AGENCY - Europe - 74-77
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Order of the Sacred (purple) Boa and Elite (yellow) Banana Guard |
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Gonna print this up and put it out at my buddy's hanger next time we head out.
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I dealt with those prima-donna pilots for 25 years.
The flight attendants may stop whining when they get to the gate, but the pilot doesn't. For some reason they thought we worked for them! It really gave them the red-ass when I would call them Admiral.
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Randy *Sensitive at all times. Last edited by FinalBags; 11-05-2008 at 11:27 PM. |
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