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The Cigar Channel a.k.a. The Monica Lewinsky Sex Toy Forum |
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OK, How Bad It Can Get, v1.35e
OK, since I tend to favor the large ring sizes, I've got a little time here (less than halfway through a Diesel Unlimited in 6 x 60), and Joshie was bringing up the attendant cooter mints associated with the Devil Weed in another thread, so here goes.
The steps on the path to destruction. A Step-By-Step Guide: Sitting in Josh's driveway, half in the bag, you ask Russ if you can try a cigar. He readily (even happily) agrees. You think he's all generous and nice. Later you will figure out he's Satan. You get home and PM Russ, asking where is a good place to buy cigars. He tells you. You ask the guys at work, too. They tell you. Then you wade into the online cigar retailers and find a few more. You get a 5-pack of what Russ let you smoke and a 5 stick Herf-a-Dor. Should be good, right? They come in and you use a razor blade to cut the cap. Dang, gonna need a cutter. You order a few more. In your online reading, you figure out you're gonna need a humidor. The guys at work say you need to get one bigger than you think you'll need, so you ask your daughter (who is looking for what to buy you for Father's Day) for this cool combo on O.co that has a humidor, cutter and solution for wetting the little humidification thingie. It's a 50 stick, so you should be all set. That comes in and is soon full. You order another 50-stick humidor, thinking it'll give you all the room you'll ever need. Full. You order another 50 stick humidor, and by this time have figured out that the florist's foam filled little humidificator deals that come with them are crap. You go through several humidification methods (by this time, you are just throwing the included little disks and the analog hygrometers that are about as accurate as Chinese Rolexes into a box, unopened, when they come in). I won't even get into the humidification nightmares before you settle on something that works... All 3 50 stick humidors full, out of room inside the roll-top desk where you keep your crap. Order a 120 stick (by now you can season a new humidor in your sleep), give one 50 stick and acceptable humidification media to Josh, who will soon become one of the walking cigar undead with you. The new 120 goes on top of the desk. Full. Dammit. Order another, matching 120. Do the math. Figure out that with what's inbound you still do not have enough room. Whore some off to your friends. (It must be noted here that you've been doing this all along, but now you do it in earnest and STOP ORDERING CIGARS until after the firts of the year). The second 120 goes on top of the cool NRA chest under the desk where you keep all the boxes and other crap (like "tupperdors" that you occasionally need for overflow) that you "need". Along the way, you pick up another cutter that'll be cool. And another one comes with a pack of something. You got a torch insert for one of your Zippos, 'cuz that'd be cool. And a Ronson for cheap at Wal-Mart as a backup. And a triple flame torch for the ones that need to be touched up. And you just got un a double flame for general use because it has a huge fuel tank and you're sick of the triple flame going through fuel like a DC-8 in a headwind. And you've asked for a V-cutter for Christmas because you want to try that. We won't even mention the 15 stick Herf-a-Dor and the cool little leather case and how many different cigars you've gone through to find the ones you like, and... Well, you get the picture. Thanks, Russ. Thanks a lot. I hope you earned more square footage and a better location in Hell for this. Tell me, is it like Amway, where you also get a percentage for Josh and then a lesser percentage for whoever's soul he manages to claim, and so on? And Chip must have a mansion on a hill down there by now, because he's the one who originally snagged your soul at the crossroads at midnight.
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Just another damn "Dave" Decidedly unpleasant, does not play well with others. Fluent in Pidgin Cigar Spanish. http://sherlynpopelka.net/ Revelation 19:11 And I saw heaven opened, and behold a white horse; and he that sat upon him was called Faithful and True, and in righteousness he doth judge and make war. *Usual manly disclaimer applies, if applicable.
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#3
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Seems a mutant breed of 'QVC Shop-a-holic' has developed.
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Tom "Age is a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it don't matter."...Satchel Paige "Mother Nature may dictate I grow older but there ain't nothin' nor nobody can make me grow up." ..Me |
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And you steadily sell off more of your formerly "cold dead hands" stuff to finance this newest all-consuming-obsession while fervently denying that your previous all-consuming-obsession has suffered priority atrophy.
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I'm not saying it was your fault. I said I'm blaming you. Ricky it's only metal, we can out think it..... Simplicate, never Complify http://www.FraZzledEgGs.com Rhetorical Questions.... Who Needs 'em? ... Famous Tripod
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1. Convert a closet into a "walk in ".
g. Convert the now empty gun safe as it is now emptied supporting the new obsession. i5. Heck convert the roll top and start your own business making and selling rolltop humidors. Sent via FM (fookin' magic) it's all FM ain't it?
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Hi I'm Tom. Darned if I can remember anyone else's name. MDCGA The Road Goes On Forever... To Ride is Life... In search of the Doof 43. . . . ....... . . Colorado Motel Wreckers 2012 ... Midnight Riders of The Beartooth 2013... |
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I'll be keeping a close eye on your cull area.
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I'm not saying it was your fault. I said I'm blaming you. Ricky it's only metal, we can out think it..... Simplicate, never Complify http://www.FraZzledEgGs.com Rhetorical Questions.... Who Needs 'em? ... Famous Tripod
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Somehow I feel that this is a significant understatement of of the real boss' sentiment on this matter.
And I nearly ordered a 10 pack that comes with the humidor and previously mentioned POS humidicant a few days back...Sounds like a great deal, but reading the previous recant I am now skered. I have too many hobbies with too little time and too little $$$... I'm sure I'll cave and blame one or all of you.
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Alan "I want to live and ride free, unencumbered by all but God's love." ~ Red Rider
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Quote:
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#9
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*snick*
All I can say is I have 2 25 sticks and 1 of them is my travel Pelican case and I'm getting ready to order a bigger 1 just so I've got 1 place to put everything.... but I don't order that many more than I use Sent from my most awesome DROIDX using Tapatalk 2
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Hi, my name is Chip, and I am a Poser. Frac Rat ~ Stimulator of Holes ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ From my Brother Don... I love his insight. Quote:
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Yup, I done did it.
I've got two 15-stick and one 5-stick herf-a-dors, one 100-stick and one 150-stick tabletop humidors. Thanks to this past weekend, I have a little room in the tabletops until I get home and unbox the Black Friday special I bought. I have a case of premium butane cylinders, enough matches to light water, a big chrome ashtray, and a handful of cutters. Chip's fault.
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You might be a king or a lowly street sweeper, but sooner or later you dance with the reaper. Make Doof Clenas Fun Again (MDCFA) |
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I have 2 50 stick humidors, about 3/4 full, 3 cheap ass plastic cutters, 1 nice cutter (thanks russ), some humi care that came with the first humidor, and a bunch of the little bags that come with the cigars....
you guys are freaking junkies.... and fyi.....cigars are always on sale, and they distributors always have them.....just sayin' and I just loved mega's panic call to russ over the weekend, I thought for a moment his house was on fire....shear panic....
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BAAAA BAAA BAAA "Blame Russ in 2012" "Can We Still Blame Russ in 2013" who's to blame in 2014? OH THIS IS SO NOODLES FAULT Chitty Chitty |
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Get an old non working fridge line it cedar and there you are. Heck it even lights up when you open the door. I hear they're pretty air tight.
Sent via FM (fookin' magic) it's all FM ain't it?
__________________
Hi I'm Tom. Darned if I can remember anyone else's name. MDCGA The Road Goes On Forever... To Ride is Life... In search of the Doof 43. . . . ....... . . Colorado Motel Wreckers 2012 ... Midnight Riders of The Beartooth 2013... |
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There was nowhere to buy them in the mountains.....
But there are no less than 8 good cigar shops here in SA... Sent from my most awesome DROIDX using Tapatalk 2
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Hi, my name is Chip, and I am a Poser. Frac Rat ~ Stimulator of Holes ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ From my Brother Don... I love his insight. Quote:
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you got ups right?
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BAAAA BAAA BAAA "Blame Russ in 2012" "Can We Still Blame Russ in 2013" who's to blame in 2014? OH THIS IS SO NOODLES FAULT Chitty Chitty |
#15
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Quote:
Yeah, the ashtrays... Existing former cigarette ashtrays unsuitable. Ordered a $10 CI puck ashtray w/ the smiley face (Did you know smiley is how it's spelled in the real world that you can touch, and smilie is how it's spelled here? But I digress...) so I could set down my cigar and type while I was drinking. Boop just got me a hammered copper tall Stinky Ashtray for Christmas. Well, she succummed to my puppy eyes when I showed it to her and let me order it. And since it's cold, I'm reduced to sitting on my roll around work stool with my netbook (wireless reception is better than on the laptop) sitting on a tall stool near the window out in the shop with the router in the house sitting on top of the printer so I can get "fair" reception out there when I hold my mouth right. Cool ashtray and rocks tumbler sit on top of a big Rubbermaid tub with a fan blowing toward the "open just a crack" door.
__________________
Just another damn "Dave" Decidedly unpleasant, does not play well with others. Fluent in Pidgin Cigar Spanish. http://sherlynpopelka.net/ Revelation 19:11 And I saw heaven opened, and behold a white horse; and he that sat upon him was called Faithful and True, and in righteousness he doth judge and make war. *Usual manly disclaimer applies, if applicable.
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