It's been 2 years...

[BenBoosted]

I don't think I had been on this forum for 6 months when my Dad died 2 years ago and was shocked, surprised, and smiled when I saw an arrangement at his memorial service from the Doofs and zints here. Thank you again, as that is one of the very few things I remember from the memorial service outside of the words I said in his memory.

I'm still dealing with the emotional aspect of it, but the anger and frustration has degraded. I was surprised to hear that feeling anger after the death of a parent (aimed at that parent) is common and normal. It didn't seem normal to me as I was expecting a lot of general sadness. The sadness was sprinkled liberally in there but the anger was predominant.

In any case, things all around are better...and I'm hopeful enough to say that they are still improving.

As a mental note, my son (now 12) has been talking about putting together a car that he can drive when he turns 16. He's got my bug about Mustangs and wants something with a nicely built motor. I remember for years asking my Dad if we could build something together and got the "That's a great idea, we'll do that some day." I couldn't describe how excited I was to hear my son ask me the same thing to which I replied "You're on!"

Attached is one of the very few pics I have of my Dad helping me work on my hot rod at the time (1991 Saleen covertible with a supercharged 302) and my ~3 year old son wanting to get in on the action as well. My Dad never had the gear head bug, so I'm not sure where I got it from, but I'll enjoy fostering it in my son as he shows interest.

PS - Thanks for providing a place for the rant.

[Dinero]

I don't believe I'd call that a rant. More of an honest reflection I think.

Mom went in 1985 and Dad in 2005. We finally had time in his later years to become good friends.

The hurt is gone now and the "bad" memories have faded so that what I am left with are the good memories.

He was part of the reason that I got into genealogy. I always said that I couldn't give my son and daughter all that I wished I could have in the early years but I did give them a family to be proud of when I could.

[stupidglide]

Didn't sound like a rant to me Brother, did sound like you are starting to get a handle on your feelings though, and what you are going through is perfectly normal.
Most folks don't realize that anger is the easiest emotion to access/ express, as it is the most basic, and most primal of our emotions. Sadness, is much more complex, and as a result, we kind of have to work our way there, as we identify the components of why we feel this way.

Ben- it is a reflection of the man you are, that you are working through this, identifying what you want to do about it, and moving forward with your life.

So- I'd say that your Son, is a pretty damn lucky boy.

Good on ya' Brother.

[OKC Fatboy]

Originally Posted by stupidglide

Didn't sound like a rant to me Brother, did sound like you are starting to get a handle on your feelings though, and what you are going through is perfectly normal.
Most folks don't realize that anger is the easiest emotion to access/ express, as it is the most basic, and most primal of our emotions. Sadness, is much more complex, and as a result, we kind of have to work our way there, as we identify the components of why we feel this way.

Ben- it is a reflection of the man you are, that you are working through this, identifying what you want to do about it, and moving forward with your life.

So- I'd say that your Son, is a pretty damn lucky boy.

Good on ya' Brother.

This. Well said!

[BenBoosted]

WOW! thank you

[MegaGlide]

Originally Posted by stupidglide

Didn't sound like a rant to me Brother, did sound like you are starting to get a handle on your feelings though, and what you are going through is perfectly normal.
Most folks don't realize that anger is the easiest emotion to access/ express, as it is the most basic, and most primal of our emotions. Sadness, is much more complex, and as a result, we kind of have to work our way there, as we identify the components of why we feel this way.

Ben- it is a reflection of the man you are, that you are working through this, identifying what you want to do about it, and moving forward with your life.

So- I'd say that your Son, is a pretty damn lucky boy.

Good on ya' Brother.

I'll just quote this, too.
Well said.

[Scabbydoo]

Anger is an understandable and accepted emotion in dealing with the death of a loved one. What is important is how you proceed from there. From what you wrote, it appears you are progressing forward and naturally through the grieving process. I'm confident the time is not far away that your emotions will be those of fond, loving memories of the good times.

[BluesFan]

Enough has been said, and very well.

I wish you peace and love on your journey

R

@$^&#/(*^#^43> 41

Droid Galaxy SIII is pretty nice

[Palerider]

Originally Posted by stupidglide

Didn't sound like a rant to me Brother, did sound like you are starting to get a handle on your feelings though, and what you are going through is perfectly normal.
Most folks don't realize that anger is the easiest emotion to access/ express, as it is the most basic, and most primal of our emotions. Sadness, is much more complex, and as a result, we kind of have to work our way there, as we identify the components of why we feel this way.

Ben- it is a reflection of the man you are, that you are working through this, identifying what you want to do about it, and moving forward with your life.

So- I'd say that your Son, is a pretty damn lucky boy.

Good on ya' Brother.

Hey Ben, I don't have the ability to speak as eloquently or intelligently as My Man, however I do have the ability to agree with what he said here. Encourage your son to pursue this passion and hug him when you get the chance!!!