"Three the Hard Way" to Girdwood, AK

Robo · #1 04-29-2012, 06:47 AM

This is the route that we took, it's pretty much the only way to go.

There were three of us, Gary on his '11 Wide Glide, Thomas on his '12 Night Rod, and me with the MRG. We met over at Gary's house, dressed (helmets, riding jackets, jeans and boots) for the 45-degree weather. I had my jacket liner and Gary's Camelback (he wanted to get glacier water) in my saddlebag. Someone noticed that we are all black dudes and yelled, "Hey! It's 'Three the Hard Way' on Harleys!". I was the only one of us old enough to remember the film so I explained it to the other guys. After we argued about black movie heroes, we decided that I was Jim Kelly (the 'skinny and funny' one), Gary was Fred "The Hammer" Williamson, and Thomas was Jim Brown, we laughed about it and left.

As we were leaving Gary's neighborhood, Thomas hit a patch of sand and the ass-end of the V-rod got all squirrelly and spit a shower of sand on my bike. I thought he was going down, but he saved it (I'm sure my laughing helped!). We made it through town rather easily, but once we got out by the south side of Anchorage, the winds picked up. There were 30-mph gusts coming off of the water, middle to low 30-degree temps, and no turn-offs. So we were committed to this path.

With the change in climate, my legs were numb from my hips down. My face was chilly due to the 3/4 helmet I wear, but my torso was fine. The winds had us using all of the lane for compensating, so we rode in a file, Gary, Thomas, and then me. The batwing was getting to be a handful at 70-ish mph in the cross winds, but I was cool with it.

We saw other riders headed back into town, waved, and rode on. When we reached Girdwood, Thomas needed fuel, so we stopped to fill his tank and decided to eat. As we parked, the conversation started with Gary saying, "Damn! I'm glad you needed gas, my legs are frozen!"

Thomas replied with, "I was hoping one of y'all were gonna call it quits first because mine are too and I didn't wanna look like a (insert female dog reference)!"

I kept my mouth shut, I just played it cool. We went to this pizza joint and the cute little blonde girl (18-ish) said, "Y'all look kinda scary, except the skinny guy in the back..." I cursed her out (in my mind) and just smiled while the "kinda scary" bikers laughed heartily. She asked, "What can I get you guys?", and Thomas said, "Whatever it is, it's gotta have bacon, my last name ain't 'X'!" We cracked up laughing, she didn't get the Nation of Islam reference, which made it even funnier.

We ordered the "Meatatarian", a pizza with meatballs, pepperoni, sausage, ham, bacon, steak, and chicken. She said, "Wow! You guys got a lotta meat!" We cracked up again at the very juvenile thoughts we all had. Meanwhile, Thomas commented that Gary's pants zipper was open, which made it even funnier.

We ate the pizza, and Gary said, "I got two slices, Thomas got two, and..." before he could finish the sentence, Thomas belted out, "...and Rob has a damn tapeworm! He ate the rest!" I did, it was good, and I don't care! Thomas paid for the $30

pizza, I put my liner in, and shopped at the convenience store for thermal drawers (none were there...).

When we left, it started to sprinkle. We got to Beluga Point, and this group of bikes zoomed up to me. When they rolled up with their "tough guy" faces, they saw something that made them back off (dunno what it was...). We got to the pipe that directs the water from the hanging glacier, pulled over to the parking area on the left and Gary walked across both lanes to get his water. When his Camelback was full, the traffic had picked up considerably. He decided to jog back, between cars. When he hit the double yellow in the middle of the road, it was very slick and he did a faceplant, tossed the Camelback really high, and the cars jammed on their brakes to avoid him. All Thomas and I could do was get up off of the ground (and try to be cool) from the laughing fit that we had. It was HILARIOUS watching him scorpion, and throw the Camelback 50' in the air. Gary showed us both that he needed a manicure on just one finger (still needed to zip up his britches too) and handed me the Camelback. We loaded up (still laughing) and motored on.

We got back to Gary's house without incident, hung out for a bit and went to our respective residences. Not a bad day, loads of laughs, good buddies, and horrible winds.

DaSkip · #2 04-29-2012, 08:00 AM

Good on you for getting in the wind even though it was cold.

noodles · #3 04-29-2012, 08:03 AM

Wish i could ride in Alaska~

Robo · #4 04-29-2012, 08:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by noodles

Wish i could ride in Alaska~

That's 7...

Are you gunning for 43?!?

noodles · #5 04-29-2012, 08:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Robo

That's 7...

Are you gunning for 43?!?

(joke from text messages)

Robo · #6 04-29-2012, 08:17 AM

By the way, Gary's cross traffic run looked kinda like this:

Add a Camelback, make dude about 10 shades darker, and 15 pounds heavier...

y2kflhr · #7 04-29-2012, 08:27 AM

Can I trade being Jewish for being black, you guys have more fun and much better jokeds

Sounds like a fun trip

Sent from my ADR6300 using Tapatalk 2